there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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