i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
