whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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