She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
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Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
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He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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