Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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