So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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