She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
