Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
