we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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