Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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