R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
