CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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