I'm lost and stupid without you.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
