we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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