We're facebook friends in real life
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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