Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
