Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
