just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
