3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize