are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
