I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You're a waste of cheezeits
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
