I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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