i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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