There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
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Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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