i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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