When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
