my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
