i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
