Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
