I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
