Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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