When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
