I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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