So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
