is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
