Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and you said cock pushups were impossible
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
