I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Randomize
