Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
ok first of all what the fuck
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
