Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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