Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
