Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
my penis made a compromise with my morals
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
