thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
