I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize