Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
