OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
