Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize