it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
