Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
