I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize