There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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