I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
