it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
