@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
