It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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