Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
