Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
