I'm really into asian looking animals
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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