Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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