Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.

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  (514): just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed. http://tfl.nu/qdrd
  Replies (29) Good night (1778) Bad night (24011)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"

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  (262): My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?" http://tfl.nu/j8cb
  Replies (7) Good night (4515) Bad night (1090)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.

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  (215): Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day. http://tfl.nu/lmzq
  Replies (8) Good night (3380) Bad night (687)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense

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  (484): so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense http://tfl.nu/m14d
  Replies (8) Good night (1923) Bad night (628)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.

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  (239): allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee. http://tfl.nu/rbdo
  Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (1413)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.

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  (603): I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin. http://tfl.nu/suqz
  Replies (2) Good night (1633) Bad night (584)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt

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  (732): Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt http://tfl.nu/9gi1
  Replies (22) Good night (3143) Bad night (768)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it

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  (214): I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it http://tfl.nu/key8
  Replies (11) Good night (681) Bad night (1179)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.

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  (610): I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird. http://tfl.nu/yqaf
  Replies (19) Good night (2451) Bad night (595)
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  (+46): View more from Sweden

  Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.

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  (+46): Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely. http://tfl.nu/r3zz
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (335)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up

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  (720): This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up http://tfl.nu/dnma
  Replies (1) Good night (255) Bad night (472)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.

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  (606): When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up. http://tfl.nu/8sfz
  Replies (3) Good night (739) Bad night (277)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.

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  (208): When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all. http://tfl.nu/wlj1
  Replies (5) Good night (761) Bad night (226)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".

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  (440): My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted". http://tfl.nu/wdt8
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (170)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.

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  (716): I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that. http://tfl.nu/47rs
  Replies (3) Good night (233) Bad night (109)

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