Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Anal.

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  (615): I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people. (1-615): Anal. http://tfl.nu/eagl
  Replies (23) Good night (3489) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  how was your night?

  (212): View more from New York

  well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?

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  (609): how was your night? (212): well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was? http://tfl.nu/mtku
  Replies (24) Good night (1324) Bad night (4194)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.

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  (724): I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more. http://tfl.nu/i8a4
  Replies (13) Good night (3277) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it

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  (973): Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it http://tfl.nu/e8zq
  Replies (6) Good night (3636) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?

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  (708): Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason? http://tfl.nu/eo4z
  Replies (3) Good night (2760) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?

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  (253): Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen? http://tfl.nu/9r46
  Replies (14) Good night (2719) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.

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  (678): We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around. http://tfl.nu/u4a3
  Replies (8) Good night (1023) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.

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  (858): Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010. http://tfl.nu/9ghc
  Replies (1) Good night (934) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  you are never too drunk for berry picking

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  (254): you are never too drunk for berry picking http://tfl.nu/1gaj
  Replies (7) Good night (1543) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.

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  (207): Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk. http://tfl.nu/4vbt
  Replies (4) Good night (1776) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.

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  (215): i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none. http://tfl.nu/avo6
  Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties

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  (203): i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies (1-203): you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties http://tfl.nu/44vj
  Replies (5) Good night (1494) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...

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  (208): Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return... http://tfl.nu/xy3e
  Replies (5) Good night (733) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...

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  (902): Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls... http://tfl.nu/dtir
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode

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  (956): Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode http://tfl.nu/5ugf
  Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (495)

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