Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover

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  (703): when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover http://tfl.nu/rhz0
  Replies (4) Good night (681) Bad night (930)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  susan atkins died, charles manson's lady

  (312): View more from Illinois

  dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.

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  (708): susan atkins died, charles manson's lady (312): dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on. http://tfl.nu/8zd1
  Replies (11) Good night (933) Bad night (2550)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline

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  (615): Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline http://tfl.nu/p67r
  Replies (6) Good night (5594) Bad night (2113)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt

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  (613): oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt http://tfl.nu/x2m1
  Replies (35) Good night (3508) Bad night (6906)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.

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  (781): I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together. http://tfl.nu/rbls
  Replies (4) Good night (3929) Bad night (943)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.

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  (618): You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling. http://tfl.nu/9fnu
  Replies (8) Good night (1942) Bad night (618)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.

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  (845): Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good. http://tfl.nu/x11e
  Replies (0) Good night (1184) Bad night (654)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.

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  (339): Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys. http://tfl.nu/p4yk
  Replies (20) Good night (6309) Bad night (1015)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.

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  (704): And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control. http://tfl.nu/cnqj
  Replies (18) Good night (2409) Bad night (1135)
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  (626): View more from California

  Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.

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  (626): Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter. http://tfl.nu/7qar
  Replies (7) Good night (1339) Bad night (901)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?

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  (971): Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars? http://tfl.nu/yo90
  Replies (8) Good night (1469) Bad night (825)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.

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  (386): The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband. http://tfl.nu/86hq
  Replies (4) Good night (811) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.

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  (843): In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight. http://tfl.nu/6bps
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (481)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .

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  (931): All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt . http://tfl.nu/vyqq
  Replies (4) Good night (603) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.

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  (479): Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him? (1-479): You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring. http://tfl.nu/rmw0
  Replies (1) Good night (797) Bad night (267)

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