no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize