Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
