That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
