Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
