found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
