your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
